06 Oct 2025 12:09:29
More Pre Loved Timalloy jokes as requested by our "Ultra in Black" ED007
I was in the toilet in the old Jungle when this guy came in with a big heavy coat caked in mud and dirt, he was unshaven with long dirty unkempt hair and he smelled to high heaven, in one hand was a half eaten pie with pie grease all over his face, he continued to eat his pie while peeing with the other hand
He turned to the assembled crowd and asked "how are the ANIMALS doing"
Buzz reminded me of this when you used to watch your game and listen on the tranny for the h. ns score.
For younger posters a tranny had a whole different meaning back then
Another time in the Jungle (all the characters hung out there)
A very drunk guy was peeing OUTSIDE the toilets and two policemen ran over and told him to stop, he ignored them both, so one policeman took out his personal radio, pressed the button for aerial to come out then spoke to match commander, on seeing this the drunk man shouted in a loud voice "BEAM ME UP SCOTTIE"
Wee boy outside Celtic Park at a old Rangers v Celtic game, he had rosary beads around his neck, a Rangers fan laughed at him and said "Are they to PRAY for goals son? "
"Naw the boy replied tae COUNT THEM"
I was walking down Paisley Road years ago just at fans were spilling out of Ibrox
"what was the score pal" I asked
came back the reply Nothing Each
I replied "who MISSED your penalty".
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06 Oct 2025 12:19:11
In order to view all of today's banter, you may have to visit our celtic banter 2 and celtic banter 3 pages linked at the bottom of this page.
Also a lot posts are put on the Celtic Discussion Posts page
06 Oct 2025 05:58:12
Ralston is an honest boy but we need better how many times did he give it away yesterday, AJ looks as if he's nearly fit and that'll make a difference.
06 Oct 2025 10:04:57
Donovan looks better than ralston.
06 Oct 2025 07:39:51
{Ed's Note - NewPaisley79 has posted a new article entitled, Key Issues Liverpool FC Need To Address
05 Oct 2025 23:14:29
Granted I'm no expert, just a every day punter like you all, but I don't see the big deal with Tounekti. He's so one footed, always looking to cut in. No end produce, no shot at goal, if I see him roll his foot over the ball again, it'll be one to many times.
I looked at Motherwells 1st goal today, winger down their right, low cross into a area and ask the defenders to defend. We don't have wingers thst can do thst as thry play on the opposite side from their strong side.
Now you many say professional footballers should be able to hit with both feel, but how many are truly vomfi on both feet?
I like my wingers to go kn the outside, hit he line and get a dangerous cross in. I don't have any stats to say which is better. Just an opinion.
But like I say, I'm no expert and just a every day punter.
06 Oct 2025 09:45:26
The rare times our wide men go to the byline and cross or cut back often creates goals, but I heard the manager prefers them to cut inside or make the short pass to keep possession?
Most supporters would prefer the more direct winger as long as they had a decent end product.
06 Oct 2025 10:12:35
Yes indeed, a winger who can regularly hit the bye line and cut it back to the onrushing forward is a real asset. Our wingers tend to hit it straight across goal and hit defenders. It must be a cut back to be effective.
06 Oct 2025 10:36:34
Rolling his foot over ball and facing defender up (slowing play and his advantage of skill and pace slowing back up defender to join ) is giving me mikey Johnstone feelings,
05 Oct 2025 23:05:33
I was at the game today plus listening to them on the radio like the good old days and I loved it.
I'm still buzzing and celebrating with a few drinks.
It's good to win a 3pm kickoff match against them and our older fans from the 1990s will appreciate my celebration drinks.
05 Oct 2025 19:26:18
I would've rather had Maeda on the left wing and Nygren on the right.
05 Oct 2025 19:40:09
It’s strange aindoh,
Maeda plays better on the left wing although he’s right footed.
You’ve maybe read my preferences for Nygren.
I enjoyed our ding dong years ago and I hope you’re keeping well. 👍.
05 Oct 2025 20:47:01
Both of them are dug meat tbf.
05 Oct 2025 20:50:54
Tbh wee Forrest is probably our best right winger, hugs that touch line and knows what it’s like to play for Celtic. Just a pity he’s in his latter years 🍀.
06 Oct 2025 10:07:15
Forrest flatters to deceive, gets the ball and complety kills the game. can't believe he is still at our club. If he wasnt homegrown he would have been away years ago.
06 Oct 2025 11:56:29
Loads of respect for James Forrest. But one or 2 Glasgow derbys aside, we've been a man down against them. Can't fathom out the hype.
05 Oct 2025 19:09:45
I need to defend our manager.
I've personally criticised him only recently due to strange decisions this season.
But
I've noticed Brendan has previously struggled in his duties as the Celtic Manager.
We struggled to score goals in his first spell as the Celtic Manager but he found a way to improve and he got success.
Brendan once again struggled to score goals at the start of his 2nd spell as the Celtic Manager and once again he found the solution.
Brendan mentioned after the Braga defeat it was his job to find a solution.
Personally Brendan has previously proved that he can find a solution and I've got no doubts he will once again succeed.
05 Oct 2025 19:31:16
I agree Buzz, we are not sevco, screaming for the club to sack the Manager when we are in 2nd place, not 8th, we are not playing great but I agree, BR will find a way.
05 Oct 2025 19:31:36
I agree Buzz.
All the goals were sold to boost an already burgeoning bank balance.
He’s starting again from scratch.
The board cut his throat in the window and then stabbed him in the press.
He will fix the team and we will win five in a row.
05 Oct 2025 20:02:05
Scales aside, no one has got going yet. Once things click and the flow in the team comes back we will start hitting teams for 6. But today was a long way off that. I'm happy we dug in and found a way to get 3 goals while not being at our best. From sh*t to sheer grit.
05 Oct 2025 20:03:05
For last ten mins the team, club and fans were on same side emotionally and emphatically willing team on, it’s been best 10 mins of season and highlights importance of everyone pulling same way, that team reacted to the fans push no doubt, or where rubbish scared not to get a winner, we don’t need to look far to see real toxicity, let’s not go same way.
05 Oct 2025 20:44:59
Sorry buzz. He's playing nearly the full team out of position and his subs are mostly wild? I feel like he's phoning it in and it's rubbing off on the team?
05 Oct 2025 22:21:02
Everyone is entitled to their option Gerry.
05 Oct 2025 22:34:52
Gerry,
Like I said,
He’s done it before and he will sort it again.
06 Oct 2025 10:10:54
I think brendan will leave at the end of the season and I think it will be best for all. He is nowhere near the manager some people make him out to be.
Ive no doubt we will win the league but I'd like to see our manager actually change something, which he didn't do in his 3rd season during his first spell.
06 Oct 2025 10:40:01
I think br will leave us as champions, my worry is I think there will be a big recycling squad also, Johnstone ccv hetate meada alongside other under performers,
05 Oct 2025 19:02:01
Loved the banner hung in front of the board in the main stand today. 🤣.
05 Oct 2025 20:36:53
What did it say? Couldn't see from 118.
06 Oct 2025 00:10:34
It said feck the meeting - resign. 🤣.
05 Oct 2025 18:37:39
Still another brutal watch.
05 Oct 2025 18:58:50
3 points is all that matters until things get sorted.
I wasn’t happy when Celtic scored the winner in injury time but yet the first song was sack the board.
We need to sort the difference.
05 Oct 2025 19:05:04
It must've hard for the players and managers to produce their best when there is so much negativity around the club.
Our team play their best when we have a full stadium and the fans are in good voice. Sadly we don't have this because of our board royally screwing things up, yet again.